The Hair Shedding has Started

I am 10 days post my first chemo, and my hair has begun shedding today. I toke up with a tingly and tender scalp this morning. Every pass through of my hand in my hair yields strands of hair. It's not clumps yet.  From what I have read, I know that the hair loss will be rapid from this point forward. When the shedding gets worse in a few days, I will shave it. I haven't showered yet this morning, and I'm a little nervous to see how much hair will come out when I wash it. Besides the hair, I have been feeling great, and pretty normal. I am drinking coffee again this morning with my husband, and it tastes fine. I still have aversions to all the fresh fruits and veggies I was eating before chemo. I am still hydrating well and drinking a lot of water, but I know I need to be eating better, and cut down on my carbs.  My daily walks have stopped because I have been tired, but I really need to push to do them again, as exercise is very important during treatment.  I am nervously anticipating my next round of chemo..just 11 days away. Even though I am nervous about it, I am up for the challenge of better staving off nausea. I want to get some peppermints and ginger candies. before the big day. The second I get home next time I am going to take a compazine even before the nausea starts, and if I feel some creeping in, I will take an ativan. I will use the candies to calm my tummy as well as munch on saltines, ice chips, and drink ginger-ale.

Feeling mostly normal, but not.....

It's been six days since my first AC chemo.  I was dizzy the last 2 days, but I feel better. I still have a cloud of fatigue hanging over me.  My taste buds are messing with me, and I can no longer enjoy my morning cup of coffee.  It just doesn't taste good anymore. I am currently drinking a mug of hot tea, and it's delicious. My first chemo was a pretty traumatic experience for me. I am already fearfully anticipating round two. I need to go into it with a positive mind set. I know it is killing my cancer, but I am so very afraid of the debilitating nausea. I can handle the fatigue, but the nausea was oh so terrible. if I can jsut get the nausea at bay next time, it wont be so bad.

My husband and kids really stepped up and helped so much when I was down and out. I was able to focus on healing and had a very peaceful time. I know I can get through this. I know it's not easy, but I only have THREE more AC chemos to go. I hear the 12 weekly sessions of taxol wont be as brutal.


As far as other side effects, I haven't had mouth sores, but the inside of my mouth feels strange, and smoother than normal. I am not eating as healthy as I did pre chemo, because I want nothing to do with the many high fiber and nutritious fruits and veggies I usually enjoy.  I simply don't want them.  I was craving lots of carbs on steroids, but now I am craving lots of creamy dairy foods. I am still managing to stay well hydrated and drink tons of water.

I go in today for my weekly blood work to check my blood count. Hopefully it's good so I wont have to get the Neulasta shot that can cause lots of bone pain.

I had forgot to mention my hair cit. one week ago, before chemo started my good friend Carrie Cook came over to cut my hair. She is a fantastic hair stylist  and colorist in the Pittsburgh area, and works at a salon called Isle of You Hair Color Studio. Check them out!

I had her give me a really short cut, that I simply Adore!! Short hair isn't really me, but what she did is lessening the blow if it being gone soon. It should start to fall out next week.  This short cut also makes me realize I can rock a short style when it starts growing again.

Here are my before and after shots, as well as some other pics.

Riding the waves of Nausea

 I had my first AC Chemo treatment on Wed 04/19/17

The nurses were wonderful, and made me feel comfortable and at ease with everything. 

It's  been a ROUGH 2 days though. My nausea hit me within hours on the first day.  Even with The  pre meds in my IV for nausea, as well as the  compazine they gave me to take at home didn't help. I could not leave the couch all day and evening, until I went to bed. I could not eat anything at all either.  I DID sleep through the night, and for that I was grateful. 

 I woke up yesterday mildly queasy. I made myself eat a yogurt and some almond for breakfast, especially because i had to take my steroids with food. I tried to eat a banana, but could not. I took my vitamins, but was afraid to take another compazine.   My nausea got worse through the morning. I called my Onc, and they had me come in for more nausea meds through the IV as well as fluids. It made me feel better, but still mildly queasy for the rest of the day. it was manageable though. I spent the day on the couch again, not eating much but some saltines, and trying to stay hydrated.  

By around 10 PM I felt good enough to want some food, but nothing healthy appealed to me.. I wanted what my family had for dinner...  a Taco Bell Taco... that was the ONLY thing that appealed to me. I said a prayer of apology to my intestines, and ate it, and it was soo good!!    

They told me at the onc office to try compazine again if I felt nauseous, and if that doesn't work, they gave me ativan. I asked for an Rx for Zofran, but the Onc didn't want me mixing the Zofran with the pre-meds for nausea that were still in my system. They said they might try that on the weekend if I am still bad, or the next round. 

I think this morning I am coming out of the funk.  Still mildly queasy, so I already took a compazine. Hopefully it will work this time. If not I have the Ativan. I really wish I could try medical cannabis. They passed it and legalized it , but haven't implemented the program in my state yet. They say at the earliest 2018, and I'll be done with chemo by then. 

My husband has been wonderful and has used the past three days of his PTO to stay home with me, and get the kids off to school in the AM. My Mo will help us with my next chemo round. 1 down, 3 to go. I can do this!!!! 

Chemo day is set

My oncologist office called this morning. Insurance approval is all in for chemo. I will be having labs drawn on Monday April 17th.  They will be accessing my port to draw the blood (eek!)
Then, my chemo starts Wed April 19th.  This is really happening. I am so scared, but so ready to fight. My sword is drawn, and my shield is up!

Port Placement Surgery and some pre-blog journal entries

I had my port put in yesterday, but we will get to that in a minute. First, I wanted to share a few journal entries I wrote before deciding to make this blog. They are very disjointed thoughts i jotted down, but wanted to share them here.
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03/25/17

It feels so strange to feel normal knowing there is something inside me that can kill me.

It's going to be a challenge, a challenge I wont say I'm ready for, but I am willing to fight so hard to win. 

I’m googling so many things I never thought I would have to.

03/29/17

Today, I will color my hair for the last time in a long time. . I didn’t expect it, but I got very emotional when walking in to Sally's yesterday to buy it.

04/10/17

Been so busy with preperations, cleaning house, buying new sheets, toothbrushes to change for every chemo session. Busy with testing, MRI's Blood work, X-rays, more Ultrasounds, Echocardiogram, EKG.  Buying over the counter meds to deal with side effects.  Making and taking phone calls all related to my treatment and testing.  Tomorrow I get my port put in, and start chemo next week. Tentative for Thurs the 20^th, as longs as insurance approves (I know they will), but it’s a formality. I keep touching my hair today, knowing it will be gone in 3 weeks (starts to fall out 2 weeks after first treatment) 

Here is my recent hair....

I'm going to miss my hair, but going bald is a small price to pay to save my life. Even knowing that, it's still very emotional. 

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And now on to todays post about my port surgery.......

I had my port installed yesterday.  I spent most of the day waiting to get the twilight anesthesia drugs out of mysystem. I felt pretty woozy till the evening. When I first got home I was nauseous, but a nap helped that immensely. Jim brought my a Gyro, curly fries and an andies milk shake from Arbys last night. He is taking care of me so good. I worry about his emotions through this. I know he is worried, as am I, but his stoicism, and .. “we have to just do it” attitude really help me. Sleeping was rough last night. I couldn’t find a good position where my heavy boobs weren’t pulling at the incision. I ended up sleeping on my non port side with rolled up leggings between my boobs to keep the left port side boob from hanging down and pulling at the incision. I am sore today, and a little swollen, but I know it will heal well. I will eat lots of good for me protein rich foods today.  Now that the port is in things are starting to feel more real than ever. Chemo countdown  - 8 days away. I am scared, but anxious to get this treatment show on the road!!

My Cancer diagnosis story... I thought I was too young.... I wasn't worried....

The median age of diagnosis of breast cancer for women in the U.S. is 62.  Breast cancer is rare in younger women. Fewer than five percent of all breast cancers diagnosed in the U.S. occur in women under 40. I am one of those women. I thought I was too young. I thought that I couldn't possibly be part of that less than 5%. 

At just 39 years and 11 months old, I was diagnosed with Breast cancer on March 16th, 2017.   It was Just a month before my 40th birthday.  I found the lump in January, but I  wasn't worried. I was too young. I knew that 90% of breast lumps turn out to be nothing. I knew that lumps can be due to menstrual changes in the breast, and knew to wait at least one cycle to see if it got smaller, or went away.  My period came and went, and the lump was still there. It was still the same size. It felt pretty big, but I wasn't worried, I knew that 90% or lumps turn out to be nothing. I knew that it must be a cyst or some other benign growth. I began researching all the things it could be, I wasn't worried.  I was too young, but I also knew that sometimes breast cancer CAN and DOES strike those in their 40's and younger.  So, I called my Doctor and made an appointment. 

At my Doctor's office he felt the lump, but he wasn't worried. He repeated the reassuring stat that 90% of breast lumps turn out to be nothing, but just to be sure, he sent me for a mammogram. I still wasn't worried. 

March 10th arrived, and it was a cold late winter day.  I drove in the snow flurries to the imaging center. I got undressed for my first mammogram. This wasn't a routine screening mammogram. It was a diagnostic one, when they look closer at a known lump or problem. I wasn't worried. I read more reassuring stats in pamphlets. 

I got called back for my mammogram, and began the process of getting my boobs squeezed painfully between two plastic plates. It was tolerable, but highly uncomfortable. I thought, OK she will take a few images, and then I will know this is nothing. They will probably sent me for a biopsy because of the lump, they will find a cyst, drain it, and I'll be on my way.   I wasn't worried. 

She took a lot of images. She excused herself, and came back, taking more images. She excused herself again, and came back. She said they would like to do an ultrasound. 

I was a little worried.

They did the ultrasound as I laid on a table in a room that I was in seven years ago getting a pregnancy ultrasound with my Daughter in my belly. 

The woman doing the ultrasound excused herself, then came back in and brought me to the radiologist's office. 

When I walked in the room, he had one of my mammogram images and my ultrasound image in front of him on a big screen. When I saw the mass on the screen, I internally gasped and widened my eyes. It looked like images of cancer that I have seen on-line. I told myself not to worry, that is MUST be something else.  The radiologist got right to the point. He said that I have a 2 cm spiculated mass that is highly suspicious for malignancy. (BIRADS-5). He showed me the ultrasound image and said that this is not fluid filled,  and I need to get a biopsy. 

I was very worried. 

Five days later I was at the hospital getting a biopsy.  

The very next day my Doctor called, and told me I had breast cancer, and just like that I was one of those less that 5% diagnosed under 40. Yes, I do turn 40 this year, but even a diagnosis  in your 40's is considered young for breast cancer.  I know that just because it's rare, doesn't mean it can't happen. So for women at any age, please know your body, and go to the doctor if you find a lump, or anything weird about your breast or underarm area. Even if it's NOTHING, it's better than finding out when it's too late. 

My Doctors don't think it's too late for me.  My cancer is most likely a stage 2. This is still considered highly treatable and early stage.  My tumor is actually 2.9 cm, confirmed by  MRI. It is Estrogen Receptor, and Progesterone Receptor positive (ER+ and PR+ ) and HER2 Negative. (HER2-). I will be having chemotherapy first to shrink the tumor. This is called neoadjuvant (before surgery) chemo.  We are waiting on insurance approval, but my tentative chemo start date is  April 20th. I will have 4 rounds of Adriamycin & Cytoxan (AC) once every three weeks. Then, I will have 12 rounds of Taxol once a week.  After chemo, and if the tumor responded well,  I will have what everyone hopes is a lumpectomy, followed by radiation, then hormone therapy.  MRI and ultrasound has shown no lymph node enlargement, but we wont know for sure about any lymph node involvement until they are checked when I have surgery.  

SO that is the first post on this blog. I have another separate post to put up today with some pre blog journal entries, and an entry on my port placement surgery.