For this blog entry I thought I would share a look into conversations between my husband and I on Skype in the beginning of all this. The snippets of conversation I am sharing start during the time I Had my first mammogram ever and goes to the day I had my second chemo treatment. It's Exactly two months out of this journey (March 10th, 2017 - May 10th, 2017), and it's two months of my life completely changing. Since this is a personal conversation, typos, spelling and grammar errors are a-plenty. This is non edited. After the skype conversations, I also have an update on how I am doing and my HAIR GROWTH!!!
(text appearing in italics are some notes i added in)
03/10/17
Me: Allegheny valley just called me, they are bumping my mammogram up to today, and wanted to know if I want to go now. I said yes, so I am going now. BBL
I am still at citizens. Don't know whats what yet, but the found areas of concern in both breasts and wanted me to have an ultrasound right now..so im waiting for that..
They just did ultrasound..now waiting for doc to read it
Lol.. sorry wasnt ignoring..they had me hop on the table for more images...now i'm waiting again
Ok... what they found is, and I will quote his exact words, "suspicious for a tumor" and I have to go get a biopsy done at the hospital.. they will call me to schedule it.
The radiologist said it's not a cyst, which most lumps are. I am not sure what else it could be so I will do what I have done since January...wait and see...
03/13/17
ME: OK on to my Doc... he is prescribing special high dose vit d pill to take once a week, and vit b12 shots... I will go pick them up at Giant Eagle when they are ready.... he said the mass on my mammogram is a 2cm by 2cm mass with a Bi-Rad category of 5.... here is info on birads categories, "BI-RADS stands for Breast Imaging Reporting and Data System and was established by the American College of Radiology. If a mammogram is classified into the BI-RADS category 3 it tends to have a very low positive predictive value (less than 2%), meaning the chance of being diagnosed with breast cancer is low.
A BI-RADS category 4 mammogram has a positive predictive value of about 30%. A category 5 mammogram is almost certainly predictive of breast cancer with a positive predictive value of about 95%."
HUSBAND: So...what happens now
ME: he said they are going to call and set up my biopsy, and go from there. but it's a high percentage that it's cancer. Hey... there is still a 5% chance that it's not :-/ so it's a wait and see for the next steps...If I dont' get a call to schedule th biopsy in a few hours I will call them
I think I am about to have an epic battle, but I'm ready for the fight...whatever it may entail
HUSBAND: how long has that mass been there
I discovered it in January, the mass is much smaller than it feels... it's only 2cm. (turns out to be 3cm as confirmed by MRI later)
I wonder how long it's been there.
HUSBAND: let me know the day of your biopsy
ME: I am on phone with them now as a matter fact...its scheduled for Wednesday 10:30 AM
HUSBAND: will you get disgnosis that day too?
ME: no, from what I read it's typically 1-2 days .. a nurse from radiology is going to call me soon to explain th procedure, so I will ask her that question
03/15/17
ME: my mom is here.. I'm out & going to my biopsy
ME: Hello, I am home Biopsy went well. It hurt more than I was expecting, and I am sore now, but I am good. I only stopped at the pharmacy drive through on the way home, and didn't go inside giant eagle because I had an ice pack on my boob. If you would pretty please, I would love if you could stop on the way home and get me coffee for tomorrow, because I am out. And get your cash out for bowling as well.
they stuck a needle right over the spot where my mass is. they use ultrasound to guide the needle right to the mass... I got to watch, it was very cool to see, and then they take a little wire thing and stick it through the needle and "punch" out pieces of tissue to test. (like a hole punch, I guess.) That's what hurt, when they got near the mass, deep in my breast tissue.
they said no lifting and to take it easy today
I am looking for acetomenephin (Tylenol) in the house, but I don't think we have any. I cannot take ibuprofen or Naprosyn for 3 days after my biopsy (and I can't go in a hot tub for 5 days LOL)
03/16/17
We didn't message much, and we didn't talk about the pending results at all that day. ... We didn't know that we were teetering on the edge of the abyss ready to fall in. . I was leaning into the abyss just slightly. I pretty much knew what the outcome of the biopsy would be, but I pushed it into the back of my mind often that day, still clinging to hope that it was something else. There was much on both our minds. We were both nervous as hell, so we talked about lighter subjects.
That afternoon, JUST before 5PM My PCP DR called with my biopsy results.
It was Cancer.
Life is changed forever. I now start the fight.
By the time I got off the phone with the DR, my husband had already left work to come home. I would not call him with the results while he was on the bus. I figured I would wait until he came home to tell him. When he walked in the door I don't remember what I told him exactly, but I remember melting into a puddle in his arms and crying.
03/17/17 - First full day of my life as a cancer patient.
ME: OK I made my appointments with the breast surgeon, and oncologist. I see the breast surgeon for a consultation on Tuesday (March) 21st at Forbes in Monroeville.. there were no openings in Natrona, as the surgeon doesn't go there everyday. I have an appointment with the oncologist on Thursday the 23rd at the Cancer Center at the hospital in Natrona. S
HUSBAND: ok...do you need somebody to go with you?
I would like you to go with me to Monroeville when I meet w. the surgeon so you can help me get there (because Monroeville LOL) and make some choices about surgeries, but I can go alone to the oncologist on Thurs.
if you would rather save your days for more important stuff like actual surgeries, or chemo days, then I can maybe ask Mom to come w. me. It's up to you.
Id rather have you there for my first apt though
03/20/17
HUSBAND: should i use this terminology?
I will not be in tomorrow. I need to go with my wife to meet with her oncologist.
ME: Tomorrow is the meeting with the breast surgeon, then Thursday is with the Oncologist but you can use oncologist if you want, or you can say. Last week, my wife was diagnosed with Breast Cancer, I will not be in tomorrow, I need to go with my wife to meet with her Breast Surgeon. But, I think saying Oncologist would clue them in right away. Either way would be fine.
HUSBAND: wait..am i going tomorrow or thursday
You are coming with me tomorrow to see the breast surgeon in Monroeville. Mom is coming w. me Thurs to the Oncologist appointment in Natrona
03/22/17
ME: My MRI and Ultrasound are scheduled for April 4th... That is nearly 2 weeks away. They tried to get me in for March 31st but the two appointments were THREE hours apart (11 AM and 2PM) I said that wouldn't work, Then they gave me April 4th, but I would not make it in time because of Abby going to school.... and I said, OK go back to march 31st I will make it work.. the appointment was no longer available within 5 minutes time. THEN she found a time APril 4th that would work.... 10:30 am for the ultrasound, and 11 AM for the MRI.... I have to arrive 30 minutes early , so I have to be there at 10. I will leave here right after abby goes to school to allow plenty of time I am going to see if Jimmy will come w. me.
03/23/17
I got home from the oncologist appointment at 1:00 I ate lunch, and had to schedule another test. So.. the appointment went very well. This DR is so sweet, she even gave me a hug. Never in my life has a Dr hugged me. She put me at ease and answered all my questions. I think Chemo first is a good option for me. It will probably start some time next month. Have to get some test results back, like my MRI, the Ultrasound and an Echocardiogram to check heart health. They may biopsy my lymph nodes if they "light up" as suspicious during my MRI/Ultrasound. My echocardiogram is scheduled for April 5th at 2PM. I can go to that by my self. That is in Natrona. Dr Miske said that the projected course of therapy will be a combo of two chemo drugs (she gave me info on them) given by infusion into a port once a week every 3 weeks... I will get four doses of that. Then following that, I will have a different chemo drug put into my port once a week for 12 weeks. That tentative dosing and medication schedule is based on how the tests come back, and could be tweaked a little w. different meds & dosages. So we are looking at around 7 months of chemo, hopefully finishing up by Thanksgiving time... then surgery, then anti estrogen therapy to forever suppress my ovaries . She said the chemo may put me into menopause even before the anti estrogen therapy, but I will still need to be on that therapy after.
HUSBAND: ok...you seem more receptive to getting through this today
ME: Yes, this Dr helped alleviate lots of my fears about cardiac issues & infection control as well
they will watch me like a hawk
04/05/17
ok I am off to my appointment for my Echocardiogram. I will be back later <3
I'm back. My echo was good, and my heart is strong enough for chemo. No problems
HUSBAND: Bittersweet
04/07/17
ME: OK Dr Tandin's office called me, the MRI showed no other areas of concern :-) (they were looking for more cancer in both breasts as well as possible cancer in the lymph nodes. We will not have confirmation for sure that my lymph nodes are clear until I have surgery after chemo) and my port placement is scheduled for Tuesday the 11th..... there is no time set. They call the day before and tell me what time to be there. Unfortunatly the surgery is scheduled in FORBES and I have to have someone take me 'cause I will be under sedation, I will also have to have someone home here to get the kids off to school Tuesday if I have to leave in the early morning... as a last resort, we could always leave them home that day if need be, and jake can watch them. Now I have to call my oncologist office ant tell them when my port placement is scheduled to see when they want to start chemo... I have to go to Natrona Monday to get pre-op chest xray and blood work done.
HUSBAND: so what days do i need to take off?
ME: I would like if you could take off Tues the 11th for my port placement, I will need someone to drive me and we MAY need someone to get the kids up for school in the AM as well, but I wont knw the time I need to be there until the day before... but I don't have a day for my first chemo... I wanted you to come to both, but if it's too many days, then maybe MOM can come to my first chemo.....
I have to stop taking multivitamin and ibuprophen as of today...
for surgery
this is where I get irritated . I called the oncologist back after waiting several hours for them to call me. I left a message for them around 1PM stating that I am getting my port placed on Tuesday, and was instructed to call them to find out when I will be starting chemo... all they told me was that a message was given to the nurses, and they are waiting on insurance authorization for the chemo.... and that typically that process isn't started till after the port is put in... and that I wont hear back from them today.... NOW I didn't question her, but A: shouldn't they have been working on authorizing this already? B: why does authorization even take so long... it should be a quick phone call to the insurance and THATS IT.... UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
04/10/17
ME: OK I still don't have a surgery time .. They called and asked me a bunch of questions about my health history, and said I have to call a special number between 2:30 and 4 to get my surgery time. The nurse called from the oncologist office. She says they are still waiting on insurance authorization but wanted to tell me they are starting Chemo next week on Wed or Thursday.. she said she is leaning Thursday at 13:30 am, but can't pencil me in until they get the go-ahead from insurance. She said they should hear back from insurance today or tomorrow. So, at least I know more now, and she said that I will go the day before for blood work (which I can do myself) I'm glad it will be starting after easter.. she said EAT UP on Sunday.. I said I WILL! LOL
OK I have a surgery time... my surgery is scheduled for 8AM, but we have to be there at.... SIX AM....
can you just quietly carry me to the car when it's time to leave?
I have to take a shower tonight, AND tomorrow AM too
04/13/17
ME: The oncologist just called... everything went through and is approved. I go in Monday to have blood drawn to get my blood count, and chemo starts on Wednesday , my appointment is 10:30 am. So WED is the day you need off for chemo... the kids go back to school that day, so that works out well.
04/14/17
ME: By the way I slept really good last night, and my whole surgery area is feeling much better :-) on the way to healing.....
so I just got out of the shower, was a little difficult with my shoulder, but I feel so good afterwards. I am about to go prep the chicken to bake. I think I'm gonna skip thos potatoes this time, and just do bake dchicken and potato wedges tonight, easier for a one pan dinner
HUSBAND: i see you ordered your hats (for chemo)
04/18/17
ME: so here is my hair this morning w. a head band. I like it looking more wild like this than straight. (sent him a pic of my hair. It was cut short the previous day in preperation for chemo)
CHEMO STARTS NEXT DAY 04/19/17 ALSO THE SAME DAY MY GRANDMA PASSES AWAY
04/24/17 (5 DAYS AFTER MY FIRST CHEMO)
ME: I still cannot bring myself to eat fresh peppers or spinach, which is what I usually have w. my breakfast. I am having a plain egg sandwich w. cheese and yogurt for breakfast right now.
and I think I may drink hot tea in the morning, I keep trying to have coffee, but I don't like it anymore
HUBBY: you were ok getting the kids off to school?
ME: Yes, I felt a little dizzy before I ate, but I think I will feel OK soon to maybe go to Aldis and get a few things. Would do me good to walk around a little... just don't know what healthy stuff to get for me, I am thinking dried fruits and stuff... IDK
again, I cannot thank you enough for what you have done this past week. I know its hard on you, but you took away all my stress of having the house in order. that was one of my biggest worries.
I know we can do this
HUBBY: do you realize the shit you/we went through from WED thru SUN ?
OMG I sure do..
HUBBY::your treatment #1...your grandma...the hail storm...your second treatment( back in oncology day after chemo to get fluids and meds for sever nausea)...your birthday...the kids and cleanup
ME: I;m actually kinda traumatized and shell shocked this week. all through it you were my rock
05/04/17
HUSBAND: let me do it over the weekend
:unless you dont want to wait (at this point my hiar was falling out from the chemo)
ME: it depends on how much fallout happens today and tomorrow
I will put my hair back or in a beanie when I cook
05/09/17
HUSBAND: do you have everything that you need ready for tomorrow?
ME: I do. Mom is coming to get me at 10 AM. My bag is ready to do. I just have to put my pillow in it tomorrow. I have mac and cheese for mom to cook the kids before you get home, and I have pizza rolls for them for Thursday dinner. I bought more turkey, ham swiss and munster chees for sammies for you.
Also mom is coming Thurs morning to take Abby to the bus stop for me.
05/10/17 DAY OF CHEMO CYCLE #2 - AC
Husband: i hope all is well. you should have taken the new graham hancock book with y ou
ME:I have been here for an hour so far. They just finished the nausea meds..next comes the steroids. That would have been a good book to take with me.
Red devil (ac) is done..now the cytoxan is dripping in the iv. I should be here for 1 more hour. I have to come back tomorrow or friday for the Neulasta shot because my white cell count dropped more. Next chemo they are going to send me home with an auto injector
I am home. I feel ok...dizzy and a fuzzy head. I just took a compazine
Got home at 3
Mom is still here with me. Rowan just got home...liam and abby soon. Mom is going to make the kids dinner at 4:30
_________________________________________________________________________
I hope that was an interesting read to see how things came together during those first two months.
It's pretty amazing to realize that when I was first diagnosed with Breast Cancer it was still WINTER. It snowed the day I went for my Mammogram. I thought that it would take forever to go through the seasons until Autum arrived, and chemo would be over. Well, here we are. FALL is exactly ONE WEEK from today. I went through ALL of spring and summer, and here we are on the doorstep of another season, the season I was waiting for. It's fitting that I should finish chemo at the start of my absolute favorite season FALL!! I have already put out a few decorations :-) Phase one of cancer treatment is almost DONE, and I cannot contain my excitement!!
I had my weekly chemo two days ago. It was Taxol #10, chemo #14 all together. I have TWO MORE chemo sessions left!! The taxol has taken it's toll on me though. I'm still having neuropathy, but it's not worse. I still have swelling all over my body, and pains all over. The fatigue has gotten worse, and is overwhelming at times, but I know to take it easy when I feel like this, and most of the time I don't push myself unless absolutely needed.
A new chemo side effect of Gastritis has cropped up with me this past week. It has caused stomach pains that hurt right under my rib cage and sternum. I had loss of appetite, severe GERD especially at night, and lots of burping. I also got full on just a few bites of food, adn the food always felt like it was stuck in my stomach, and not moving along like it should. My Oncologist put me on a liquid medicine called Carafate, and it has helped immensely.
My emotions have been all over the place these past two weeks. It's a combination of the stress of being a cancer patient, and early menopause. I still have not had a period since July. I have officially missed two.
I have an appointment with genetic counseling on Tuesday 09/19/17. They will do a cheek swab and test for the BRCA mutations, and possibly others. I will be sure to update once I know the results of my genetic testing.
My hair continues to grow back while on taxol. I have more in the back and on the sides then I do in the front. I know it will really take off once Taxol is finished.
Here is what my hair looked like in July when I FIRST started noticing growth in between AC and Taxol. It was July 5th, I finished my last AC chemo on June 21st, and I hadn't started the Taxol yet. I was VERY surprised to have ANY growth at ALL.
Here is my hair growth on 7/20
Jumping to August 19th
Here are two pics from yesterday that shows the slower growth on the top an of my head, but hey, I'll take it!
And finally today 09/15/17
I am amazed at the amount of hair growth while still on chemo. I have heard that some people's hair does start to grow back on Taxol, but some remain compeltly bald until the Taxol is finished. As you can see in pictures the Taxol has made my eyebrows and eyelashes pretty scarce.
I am not ready to go without my head scarf yet. I think once it's thick enough where you can't see my scalp, I will start leaving the head scarf behind. I think it's a matter of a few months.
I just can't wait to see this again:
But, I will be happy with what comes in between!!
Well, that's all for today's super long entry. I had a lot to say, and show. Have a great day everyone!
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